WELLBEING TIP
Am I being an over-protective parent?
Over-protective parents want to protect their children from physical, mental, or emotional pain. They want to ensure their children are happy and content so they may “soften the blows” of everyday life.
Children are far more resilient than perhaps they are given credit for! Children need the ability to learn how to “bounce back”! Success is great, but children will not truly thrive until they learn to overcome day-to-day failures and become stronger for it. An over-protective parent can create a child who is unprepared to deal with what life may throw their way. The child may be so used to having a parent sort out their plans, make their decisions and clean up their mess, they may find the simplest challenges difficult and overwhelming.
If your child always expects you to swoop in every time, they may not fully develop the self-esteem or resilience needed. If you do everything for them (from getting them dressed to completing their homework), they may start expecting you to do other simple things that they can and should do by themselves, and be hesitant to take on new challenges and wait for others to sort out the issues.
If you stop a child from doing things, they may become overly scared of trying new things. They may worry they are going to be hurt or rejected and eventually shy away from new experiences.
It is important to give children space to consider options on their own. Of course, we can advise them, but ultimately, we want to encourage our children to be independent thinkers with their own confident opinions.
Do you answer YES to these?
- Do you make big and small decisions for your child without giving them the options?
- If your child wants to try something new, do you insist they stick with what they know or what you want as it is “safer”?
- Do you frequently step in and “rescue” your child from a situation or occurrence because you believe they are unable to handle it?
- Are you constantly with them during children’s parties or events just in case a situation arises they will have difficulty with?
- Are you that over-protective parent?
Now for the science bit… children process information with the amygdala. This is responsible for the perception of emotions such as anger, fear, sadness and controlling aggression. It helps to store memories of events and emotions so that the child may be able to recognise similar events in the future. Perfect for making decisions resilience! Adults use the prefrontal cortex that controls perception, personal expression, making decisions, and controlling social behaviour. The adult thought process is very different to that of the child. They do not think like an adult… let them learn… let them be children.